I can't do psych I'm far too trusting.
"So they forced the cocaine up your nose? That's terrible. I'm so sorry to hear that. What's that? You also suffer from claustrophobia and want the door unlocked and open? No problem. I'm going to go tell the nurse about your pain and get you that morphine you were asking for. Stay tight, we are going to help you."
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My favorite is something I call the "sick call shuffle" where people will come limping into my clinic grimacing with pain and as soon as you hook them up with the day off work and some pain meds they roll out doing cartwheels.
You win again, Faker.
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