Monday, July 26, 2010

The most extreme thing in glitter

Gymnastics and diving are interesting sports.  When you watch them, the commentators do a really good job of instantly warping your perceptions.  They will say something like, "ooh, a nice one and a half on the beam, a spin, a sprint, and dismount, triple flip, and she wait, a foot forward.  That will cost her".

Um, that girl just flipped in the air and landed on a 6 inch peace of wood, then sprinted on it and flipped off and you are upset because she took a step when she landed.  Why are we not commenting more on the fact that she didn't crush her genitals or converge her face and her shoulders into one permanent body part?  That girl lives in the Matrix.

Or diving.  The guy made a slightly larger splash than we wanted.  It's like if I drove a motorcycle head on at a semi on the highway, spun underneath it, and when I came out I was wearing the trucker's hat and people were commenting on how I put it on crooked.  Give that guy a break, he just fell 3 stories.  Let's talk more about how he's still alive.

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