Hit it! Or not.

 An addendum to my post on phrases.  Another phrase I'm unclear on why it exists.

"It's really hit or miss"

Oh ok.  Wait, what are my other options?

M and M and M and M and M

Calling the larger sized bags of peanut m&ms "Tear and share" is one of the best marketing tools ever created. 


"How can we make people feel both not fat and generous, when all parties involved know that neither are true?"

And to think, we all hated making graphs in 6th grade

Dragons fucking hate couches

The highlights

There are two major goals of highlighting, to sift out the most important aspects of a passage for future review and to not look like one of those color coding nerds that just highlights everything. 

F-Bomb Grandmom

Whenever I'm around my grandparents and say even, "crap" my parents scorn me and give me the watch your language around the grandparents lecture (a youtube favorite).  Why?  My grandma is 87, she has uttered more swears in her life than I've heard from all my hours of reality tv.  She knows swears that were buried in ancient tombs, the kind that summon beasts.  My grandma isn't an innocent soul that is going to accidentally repeat what I say in her daycare.  I don't think the report is going to come back that she was riling up her bridge game with her hootenanney.  Grandma will be just fine with the occasional F-bomb.  And if she's not, she will set a fiery beast upon me, granting no mercy on me and my smutty, idle-handed, soulless generation of tattoed, fist pumping, blasphemers sending us directly to the pits of Hades with rock music as our entrance theme.

Wet it and forget it.

If I really dissect my shower experience,  I can't remember the last time it occurred to me to do the ol', "behind the ankle".  I bet there are small areas of my body that I haven't washed since the 90s.

Delicious bus metaphors

I like expressions that don't make a lot of sense but kind of do.  Like "to throw someone under the bus".  We all know what that means, one person was a dick and fucked over someone else.  But what does that mean? I guess I get it.  I mean, if someone threw me under a bus, that would suck.  I would be run over by a bus.  That would be bad.  Buses are big and heavy.  An unfortunate place for me to be thrown would be underneath one. 


Another great one is "you can't have your cake and eat it too".  I have no idea what that means, but if I really think about it, yeah, I'd love to have some cake but also get to eat it.  It's like having two cakes. that would be awesome.  And yes I can see why I can't do that, most of the time, I've only got one cake.  Perhaps it can be summed up by saying, "You can't have something and also not have that thing.  In this instance, that thing will be cake."

V/Q mismatch maker

The pulmonologist running my small group revealed to us the pulmonary clinic magic bullet, V/Q mismatch.  He said if you are ever pimped on a question about a patient with lung problems, just say, "Well, I was kind of thinking V/Q mismatch".  


Although it's clearly not what the pulmonologist was thinking, she'll stop for a second, furrow her brow, look up for a bit, call the fellow over, "what do you think about V/Q mismatch?", they'll mumble for a bit, furrow an impressive amount of brow, pace around, walk out of the clinic, head back to the Pulm Cave (which is a dead space I believe) and you are totally off the hook.  It's like hitting a shark on the nose.  No one's really sure what just happened, but you still have your legs and you get to go home.

Oh sure you can borrow my watch

I can't do psych  I'm far too trusting.

"So they forced the cocaine up your nose?  That's terrible.  I'm so sorry to hear that.  What's that?  You also suffer from claustrophobia and want the door unlocked and open?  No problem.  I'm going to go tell the nurse about your pain and get you that morphine you were asking for.  Stay tight, we are going to help you."