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I know what you're thinking, you're not like the other girls. They all suck at telling how hot another girl is, but not you, you're different. You grew up with 3 brothers. You basically have a dick. Dude, you'd totally bang Angelina if you got the chance. You can rate girls just like guys can.
But no, you're wrong. You can't. You suck at it. All we are hearing from your "objective" assessment of her attractiveness is a subjective assessment of how much you like her. Now stop trying to set me up with your nice friends and invite annoying Jenn out.
My buddy started losing his hair when he was 20. He was in denial for a year or so before the Ghost of Christmas Bald came to him, showed him the hair in his sink and a picture of James Carville, and the next day he was like "oh fuck no" and started on Finesteride (Propecia). Finesteride is a really great drug that works by stopping the formation of a chemical derivative of testosterone that's only purpose in life seems to be to cause men's hair to fall out and their prostates to grow (earning this chemical the nickname, "The Cock Block", or in medical terms, "Cockblocksterone", which makes Finesteride the first pharmaceutical wingman.). Finesteride has worked great for him and it has virtually halted his hair loss. Its only downside, 70 bucks a month. Although that is a relatively small price to pay to not be asked if you would, "like help carrying those groceries to the car" before age 30, as I think many men would agree, but unfortunately it's a lifer drug. So, doing the math, he is paying $33,600 to not be bald by 60. Suddenly a boob job isn't seeming so crazy, is it?
Hey, look who it is! Another Sunday in the Library back-room? Me too. I brought you a coffee, figured you'd need it. I was gonna get lunch at 1, interested? No? Because we've never talked and in reality I'm just staring at you like I do every Sunday and you are a little creeped out by me? Yeah that's cool. Maybe another time.
There are some really awesome stories in the history of medicine, but I think my absolute favorite is Viagra. It was originally designed as a blood pressure med in Scotland, so they tested it on cows. Then they noticed a side effect in the cows that was medically referred to as, "hilarious".
You know when they say someone is gay and they just don't know it yet? I never understood that until I was personally outed as a techno fan by Pandora.
"Hey, why do all my stations end up playing RJD2 and Digitalism?"
"Maybe you should come with us to this 'special' bar this weekend. Here, you'll need this glow stick."
