Oh sure you can borrow my watch

I can't do psych  I'm far too trusting.

"So they forced the cocaine up your nose?  That's terrible.  I'm so sorry to hear that.  What's that?  You also suffer from claustrophobia and want the door unlocked and open?  No problem.  I'm going to go tell the nurse about your pain and get you that morphine you were asking for.  Stay tight, we are going to help you."

My new idea: a comic strip

Hey man, you're in med school right?  Can you take a look at my rash

Uh, sure.

Rash of some kind.

So am I going to die?

Well I've only taken biochem, but yes

Four letter words!

I meant one day.

(Someone else) I saw your balls!

What up dog?

What if we reacted the way dogs do when they see each other? 


"Holy shit! There's someone else from my species!  Ok, calm but alert, calm but alert.  Say the same thing over and over loudly until you get near enough to rub faces.  Great. And now...oh yes, her crotch smells awesome!" 


Actually that's not altogether inaccurate.

Aphrodeezzze fo sheeze

Dear Strawberries,

You did a great job, thanks!

Sincerely,

Sex

Shame on you, Surprisingly Healthy Twizzlers, for highlighting my lack of self control

It's bad when you look at the nutritional information on your favorite food and find that it's about as healthy as a game of "swallow the cigarettes".

But it's just as bad to look at the nutritional information on your favorite food and find out that it's not that bad; because having only 19 grams of sugar is only comforting for about the first 17 and then Insta-Diabetes* starts to ruin the flavor.

*Insta-Diabetes is a medical term for a type of Diabetes that I made up.