Because this* video means so much to me, I've decided to provide the missing internal commentary to it. If you are wondering how I know what he's thinking, I'm on psych right now, so I'm telepathic.
0:01- That's my fucking sandal!
0:06- Careful now, don't want to put it on too hastily.
0:10- Better test the top and make sure that feels like my sandal.
0:13- It is my sandal, for sure. I'll pick it up for safety, but I'll have to be closer to the ground for this to go well.
0:14-24- For 10 seconds, I'm going to practice grasping my sandal. I cannot mess this up.
0:24- Whoa guy! I got this.
0:29- Test run. Feels good. Definitely my fucking sandal. Go for it...go for it.
0:34- All I can say is, thank god that's over.
0:38- Alright, got the sandals on, sunglasses still there. Deep breath. Let's make a move, slick, let's make a move...
0:44- Oh shit! Gravity!
0:45- Girl: Are you ok?
Me: Gravity just took my fucking sandals!
0:50- Me: You've never heard of gravity!?! It's the tits, but like, gotta respect it or she'll rip the sandals right off your feet.
Girl: Oh ok, we'll all watch out for that.
1:00- Me: Yeah, you gotta block it, like this.
Girl: Great, thanks.
Me: No problem
1:08- That's my fucking sandal!
1:09- Almost...reach...push through barrier harder...got it!
1:11- Oh shit. That's my fucking sandal!
1:16- Got 'em. Now I'll just drop them and expect them to land perfectly aligned.
1:17- And they did.
1:22- Left on.
1:32- Only 10 seconds for the right, not too shabby.
1:35- Oh good, my cheering section finally showed up. Thumbs up to them. Gravity. Thumbs up.
1:38- Aaaaaannnd strut off for a drink.
*Note:Open the link in a new window. If anyone knows how to make those bits link to the actual video bits, I'm listening. By reading. Your answer. So provide it. Another acceptable answer would be to tell me how to embed the video. Which I currently cannot do.