Maybe they are sponsoring me, but it's a double blind sponsorship...

My favorite drug in the world is Placebo.  I would love to be sponsored by Placebo.  It's the cheapest drug on the market, has virtually no side effects (it genuinely does have some side effects amazingly enough. Real, honest to god, statistically significant side effects), works on literally every disease it has ever been used on, including cancer, and is the most delicious tasting of all drugs ever created.  The only Big Pharma company I would be supporting is Mars, or Nestle, maybe Brach. And if your nephew gets into a big old bottle of placebo, you will only have to deal with him getting real psyched up for a few hours...or you would have to deal with that if the hyperactivity of excess sugar weren't just a placebo effect*.

*Although if it is a placebo effect, then it would happen, but not because of the sugar in Placebo, but because of the placebo in Placebo.  "That kid is all hyped up!  He had way too much placebo at his birthday party.  It was 'prescription drug abuser'-themed.  He was being Brett Favre and took it too far.  I called Poison Control. They told me to make him eat his vegetables and not to ruin his dag ol' appetite befo' supper."