Hi, my name is Meat (Hi Meat). I've had a weblog since 2007 and recently I hit rock bottom and started writing on it. I've come to terms with it and finally admitted I have a problem.
Monday, February 22, 2010
"Green effort". Or, "Jealous trying too hard".
Everytime I do something that is publicly disagreeable, even if no one cares and no one says a thing, I recite the justification for me being an asshole in my head. I go through a whole fictitious argument:
"One large coffee? For here or to go?"
"To go, thanks"
"You know, I see you in here every weekend and you stay for hours, you really should just get a cup for here, it will help with the green effort."
"Oh well every time I do, I bump the table and spill coffee on my notes, which sucks. Plus I end up throwing the notes out so in the end I waste just as much paper."
"Yeah. And really I am being green because I reuse the cup"
"Oh? How so?"
"Well when I leave, I fill it with water and drink out of that for awhile. Then later I cut it up and give it to a bird to use as a nest. Then, after the bird dies, I climb the tree and recycle the paper. Then, as I'm climbing down the tree, I plant another tree. And the whole time I don't breath out carbon dioxide. See? I'm not an asshole. I'm super green and everyone should like me."
"Don't worry, everyone does. We knew why you were doing it, we just wanted to hear you say it because your logic is so sound, it's like music. Plus your breath smells like a Vegan Prius."
I started this before I got into med school, then characteristically didn't do shit with it for the first year and a half while in med school, and now I'm back with a vengeance...for probably a week before I get bored.
*Note, I am not a doctor. I am a medical student. The difference is that I do not have a degree, don't know what I'm talking about, and haven't had my sense of humor beaten out of me with a stick made of being on call. For more info, see my first post (If I were savvy, I'd link to it. But I'm not. I'm not savvy.)